Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid, And Enjoy Your Journey To the Gentiles

Ever wondered how life looks like for people who take Israel’s “everyone hates us” line seriously? Well, thanks to the Israeli National Security Council (an official if shady organization in the Prime Minister’s Office), we can now get a pretty good idea. The below is word-for-word translation of most of their permanent advice sheet for Israeli travelers abroad. Italics are mine.

Dear passengers and travelers,

For your safety and enjoyment, we recommend you abide by the following rules:

General behavior:

  • Be watchful of unusual events: (Unusual behavior, suspicious objects, strangers who take interest).
  • It’s undesirable to demonstrate your Israeli identity (by clothing, equipment and behavior) when it’s not necessary.
  • Don’t respond to temptations (money, business, leisure) offered in unexpected circumstances.
  • Don’t volunteer unnecessary information about your rank and position in the security services, past service record included .
  • Avoid political arguments with strangers and avoid demonstrations.
  • Avoid, as much as possible, large gatherings of other Israelis (airports, touristic sites).

Preventing abduction threats: [sic]

  • Reject unexpected but tempting offers (gifts, recreation).
  • Reject invitations to unexpected and/or suspicious business meetings, made by unkown individuals in isolated, remote locations, especially after dark.
  • Make sure you arrive to unplanned meeting with a trusty escort.
  • Ensure a friend or a relative in Israel has a detailed itinerary of your travels and meetings, and get in contact with affiliates in Israel every now and then.

Hotel Behaviour:

  • Don’t let any unidentified persons into your room (it’s preferable to avoid using room service).
  • When your return to the hotel after spending time outside, check if anyone took care of your belongings and especially your suitcases.
  • Don’t accept and don’t open unidentified packages or gifts sent to your hotel.
  • Avoid sleeping in dubious locations (even if they are cheaper).

[…]

We wish you an enjoyable and safe journey and that your return in peace.

For clarifications, please call the Counterterrorism Bureau +972.3. 5486042/3/4

“Having fun yet?” The National Security Council (official website)

9 Comments

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9 responses to “Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid, And Enjoy Your Journey To the Gentiles

  1. George

    “Don’t let any unidentified persons into your room (it’s preferable to avoid using room service).” Does that apply to tennis players? Hamas’ travel bureau ought to issue a similar warning.

  2. Assaf

    Hillarious.

    My favorite is

    “Avoid, as much as possible, large gatherings of other Israelis.”

    Ya right. This is one advice Israelis will definitely take very seriously.

  3. OK, fair enough, it means, no sex tourism for Israelis – for the benefit of the societies they visit ;)

  4. I heard they’re giving out some kind of a brochure for Israeli travellers at the airport. I wonder if I’ll get one. Probably I’ll just get the usual number 5 on my passport with the special treatment I always get.

  5. John

    This blog is just as bigoted as the so called ignorance it intends to “expose”

  6. Thomas

    I know, its almost as if there is this unwarranted and arbitrary hate against jews in the world. Its like it has been manifested through some people trying to kill all jews in Europe or something. I know its weird. It doesnt make sense to think that others might want to hurt you just because you are jewish. No sense at all.

    • John

      Trying to kill all the Jews in Europe? That was long time ago and countless non Jewish soldiers died preventing it. How about trying to kill or contain all the Palestinians in a country that is rightly theirs and that is happening now!!

  7. dafi

    What’s the problem? our government is trying to prevent citizens like yourself from being kiddnapped abroad.That’s also wrong?!

    • John

      My problem is that i’m not Israeli, that the Christian God for that. Also my father fought the Irgun in Palestine who were also terrorists, look at your history. It seems State sponsored terrorism is acceptable as long as the state is Israel

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